Category: Parent Talk
You plan your day according to when Sesame Street is on.
2. You have signed a check with a crayon.
3. You find Goldfish crackers in the glove box of your car.
4. You wipe other kids' noses.
5. You have accidentally brushed your teeth with Desitin.
6. You have caught spit-up in your hand.
7. You leave for a date with your husband carrying a diaper bag instead of your purse.
8. You have memorized the entire lineup of Saturday morning cartoons.
9. You have finally paid for all of your groceries and are heading out of the doors when you realize one of your kids has lost a shoe somewhere in the store.
10. You can recite Goodnight Moon and Green Eggs and Ham by heart.
11. You let your baby sit in his dirty diaper until Oprah is over.
12. You have shared a fifteen-minute conversation about your baby with a complete stranger at the grocery store.
13. You filled up your child's baby book before her first tooth appeared.
14. You silently curse people if they call during naptime.
15. You forgot your mother-in-law's first name because you now only refer to her as "Grandma."
16. You arrange your travel itinerary based on McDonald's Playland locations.
17. You are just as surprised when you sleep through the night as when your child does.
18. You consider the person who invented the Sippy Cup a genius.
19. You see a mom from your child's playgroup at the mall and know her son's name but not hers.
20. You consider it a major triumph if you shower by noon.
21. You justify every excessive crying spell with teething.
22. You pick up the phone and call your mother when your baby rolls over for the first time.
23. You have kept your favorite babysitter a secret from other mothers in your playgroup.
24. You have your pediatrician's telephone number on speed-dial.
25. You own the entire Baby Einstein DVD collection.
26. You find yourself humming the "Rubber Duckie" song in the shower.
27. You have dressed your baby in whatever is on top of the clean laundry pile.
28. You cry at Johnson & Johnson commercials.
29. You have considered trading your whole life savings for just one good night of sleep.
30. You see your parents in a whole new light.
31. You consider parenting to be the best job in the world.
these are all fine well and good, but here are a fe more. these actually happened to me. what do you think?
1. You reach in your pocketbook at an important work function and diaper pins and binkies fall out.
2. At a formal dinner party you cut all your guests food in to teeny weeny little pieces.
3. Your breasts let down when someone else’s baby cries, even one on the tv.
4. Like the new guide dog user, discussions with total strangers about poop are totally fascinating.
I really like these. Some of them are funny, but I'd say they're all so true. Of course, I'm not a mom yet myself, but I know some people who are, and I'm sure they would agree with this.
lol Yeah, most of these are so true.
Or, you find a lego in the dishwasher.
Or, your baby pukes in your ear.
Well I'm a dad and that did happen.
Here's mine:
1. Your toddler's favorite response to every request is "Why?" or "Why not?"
2. You don't walk barefoot in your own home for fear of mutilating your feet by stepping on loose matchbox cars and Duplos.
3. You nap when they nap and do all your school work/house cleaning/phone calls when they go to bed.
4. You open the fridge to discover that "kid food" is the only stuff to eat in there; Gogurts, peanut butter and jelly, Jell-O, string cheese and apple juice. So you order a pizza.
4. Your new MP3 player goes in the kids' room for "sleepytime" music because you're sick of dealing with lost or scratched CD'S.
5. You've been baptized with just about every bodily fluid imaginable in one day.
6. Short of a bar, there is NO place you haven't nursed your baby.
7. You go out on a dinner date with your honey only to come home and puke it all up in the name of "morning sickness."
8. "Floaties" are not just the things little kids use to keep them safe in the water. "Floaties" are the chunks of food in your drink that are backwashed by your three-year-old or the mysterious logs left in the tub after bathing your 18-month-old.
9. You've washed your keys, your cell phone, your wallet in the washer, but God forbid if you leave your child's binky or favorite toy in your pocket.
10. You accidently call your friends baby, honey, sweetie, love...all the things you refer to your kids/hubby as.
Puke in the ear? Oh gross! LOL Glad I missed out on that experience.
Oh yeah, puke in the ear... Try in your mouth. That's what happened to my cousin because he was holding his daughter above his head while lying on his back. Yum!
Here's a couple more, 1 you find yourself humming sesame street songs and singing along to the ones you remembered as a kid. 2 you can soothe feed and change your 18 month old while half asleep. 3 you discover you feel better holding your baby and he's the one crying. 4 inspite of a violent headache you play with him anyway. 5 you know how to revive the mp3 player after it's baptism in apple juice. 6 your lulled to sleep by baby einstein. 7 you have a ligit excuse to play with playdough silly puddy and crayons.
Heres a few.
1. When taking a bath with your twoyear old, she poops in the tub
2. you have to throw the cottage cheese away because she thought it would be fun to crumble bread in it
3. You work up the right kind of enthusiasm to tell her that the leaves she brought into the house are so pretty, because she thinks so.
wow so glad my daughter has spit up all of once in her 11 weeks of life.
you know you're a mother when...
1. you're not with your baby and she cries when she hears your voice on the phone because she's looking for you.
2. you start not remembering adult song lyrics, but start humming kids songs in the shower.
3. When it's hard to get a shower.
4. You eat microwave lunches green giant and the like because your baby wants attention.
5. when lifting your shirt in public is common and not because you're drunk. lol
Lol I almost got puked in my mouth when baby Michael was about 4 months. You also know you're a mom when you go on a movie site like netflicks and the like and the first thing you start looking for is what you and your baby can watch.